Ask a Christian Witch: Hexing People, Reconnecting with God, and Deconstructing the Eucharist Ritual
- Sara Raztresen
- 1 day ago
- 14 min read
Closing out May with a good Q&A, baby!
The release date is June 30th, 2025. Grab a copy now so you're first in line to get it when it drops and get all kinds of cool interviews inside. Some of my faves are:
God (REAL God!)
Santa Claus (yes, the egregore of Santa!)
The Evangelical Egregore (this is... a way less fun egregore)
And a lot more!
And now, our May questions. Remember: if you have any questions, all you have to do is check out this Google Form right here and fill it out with your question!
Now for all this good conversation!
How Can I Better Feel God's Presence?
How can I better "feel the energy" of God? How can I feel a truer, more genuine connection to God? I used to have a deeper connection and tried to connect with Him even further, but that process went awry due to a mistake on my behalf and I no longer feel much of a presence, if any at all.—Anonymous
Hey, there!
So, right away, I want to say that it's because you tried to push more for that presence that things went awry. It's easy to think we can hit the right buttons or do the right steps and just automatically gain the reward we're looking for with God, but God doesn't work like that. He's not a math equation; He's not a vending machine. You can't plug things in, or insert money/energy/time/whatever, and cleanly get out what you're looking for. God is a being, a Conscious, and just like you would be weirded out or offended if someone tried to artificially inflate your connection with bribes or surgical, methodical approaches, God may not like that, either. I mean, imagine if someone you wanted to be friends with and that you already loved very much said, "Okay, so, if we do X more hang outs, and Y more projects together, we will be closer!" It kind of misses the whole point of hanging out or doing projects together to begin with, no? It makes it weird, or like there's some invisible meter building up like in a video game. It isn't authentic.
However, that isn't the only thing to consider. If you've ever heard of the "Dark Night of the Soul," a term coined by St. John of the Cross, you know that pretty much every mystic that ever mystic'd is going to run into this at some point: the overwhelming feeling of darkness, of loss, of navigating without the stars, of the void left by God's sudden and inexplicable absence. When St. John was betrayed and abandoned by his own Carmelite brothers and left to rot in a cell, he came to this point, and he went through this process, and he came out on the other side still clinging to hope and belief in God until God came back into view. It works to destroy all the false images of God we've unknowingly built up in our lives; it reminds us that God is infinite, ineffable, so broad that no label or idea or name we can attach to Him does anything other than obscure His true fullness from us. Only by negation—stripping away these labels and images and ideas—and reaching what is called apophatic mysticism do we discover the God so infinite that He appears as Nothingness, and only in that Nothingness do we discover our own nothingness, our dissolution, and the fact that God and we are One.
It's trippy as hell and difficult to deal with, but your options are to turn back and cling to comfort, to the type of experience with God you're used to that obscures the full magnitude of Him, or keep pushing and trust it'll all work out and leave you more enlightened than before.
What is the Difference Between Humans and Angels?
I was brought up in the LDS church (deconstructing now, no hate to the church it just wasn't for me), and there we learned that Lucifer was a child of God, just like us. But at the same time i understand he is a fallen angel. And that plus your prior descriptions of angels that i have read got me thinking. What is the difference between angels and whatever we are? Were we angels before we were made flesh? Or is there more to it? I'm very new to the idea of angels and archangels and demons and all, that wasn't really taught in the church the way other branches of Christianity do. It's fascinating and i want to learn more. —Anonymous
Hi!
It's interesting to me that the LDS doesn't teach about angels, because I'm pretty sure the whole way those golden plates Smith picked up got to where they are is because of angels. Hmm. But when it comes to these creatures, there is one major distinction: angels were made to serve God and to be His warriors, messengers, and agents, whereas humans are His art, so to speak. Yes, God created both angels and humans, but humans didn't have the function angels had and the nonstop work they have in tending to us (though we do have parallel work in our stewardship of earth, I guess), nor were they afforded the full knowledge angels have (hence why they're so dogged and so harsh: they see everything from a bird's eye view, including the right path to take). This is also why there's a debate as to whether or not they have free will or not. Yes, they could do some stupid things (and we've seen them do those stupid things before, like in the Book of Enoch, when some took human wives and created the Nephilim), but that's like saying you could jump onto a burning pyre. Of course you can do that. You have two legs and the knowledge of how to jump.
But would you ever jump onto a burning pyre? No. Because you know exactly what will happen and what the consequences will be. You are blocked from doing so by your own knowledge of what is good and right for you, even if you have every available means to go jump. Angels are the same, but with, like, everything.
And, I mean, the fact that their coupling with humans creates literal monsters that cause chaos and destruction is a sign that whatever they are, they are not like humans at all. They're unbridled Creation, no physical boundaries, living purely in the spiritual. Humans are fallible, and our work here is similar to angels in that we manifest God's will into the physical world, but the process of learning how is the real ticket. We have to learn how to live, how to manifest, how to love. We have to choose to do these things, whereas angels were simply designed to do so. However, if you'll remember a certain few verses, like Mark 12:25,
When the dead rise, they will neither marry nor be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven.
then you see that angels are also distinct in that they have no use for earthly constructs like marriage, eating, drinking, etc. The bonds that ensnare us on earth don't do so in heaven. Angels are completely free of all trappings and bonds and such; their being is singularly focused on God, though based on my conversations and my understanding, this is because they're made to bear a piece of the Divine Name (which seems to be something of a double edged sword, depending on what that Name is). The sliver of the Name makes the angel who they are, for example, Michael (He Who is Like God), Ariel (Lion of God), Gabriel (God is my Strength), Raphael (God Heals), and so on. Without that piece of the Name, they are blank slates.
Humans don't get locked down and defined like that. We define ourselves, and we decide if that's in conjunction with God or in opposition to Him. We aren't bound to obey any influence like that; we are invited to choose such divine influence. And if we don't choose it, then the option remains always on the table; God is always singing and wooing us back to Him even when we stray, unlike with some fallen angels and demons that appear to be more strictly locked out of their former office after making a different choice or casting off their piece of the Name. That, in my opinion, is the real difference between angels and humans.
Where Can I Find Information on Familiars?
Thoughts/resources on familiars? I find them interesting as a concept in folklore but I'm not quite sure how that looks when applied practically or where to begin looking for that information. —Anonymous
Hey!
I don't really have any resources on familiars, honestly. I don't know much about them other than that they seem to be creatures that, for whatever reason, were meant to aid us or be our companions at one point or another. I think of my own little pigeon, Bilok, as one, because his coming into my life was so out of nowhere and yet so perfect. But I'm not sure much more beyond that, or what they can really do, or why. Wish I knew more for you!
How Do I Reconnect with God After Time Away?
Best way to reconnect with God, especially with religious guilt starting as a witch? I'm about to graduate and I've been really busy but I feel bad because I know I'm making a lot of excuses. I've been praying here and there and it feels kinda peaceful for a bit but then it's gone until I do spells. I also feel really bad when I do spells even if it's just to make myself feel better emotionally and physically. Is that normal or a sign i should stop practicing witchcraft? —Amaris
Hi, Amaris!
Honestly, it sounds like you're getting into your own head a little bit. If you're feeling bad about doing spells, it may be because you're doing a lot of taking but not a lot of giving. When approaching God again, think of how you might approach a dearly loved friend that you haven't seen in a while. Imagine if, after not talking for a while, you only came back into that friend's life to ask them to help you with things? Eventually they would feel a little taken for granted, right?
It sounds like you need to understand your why of doing witchcraft, or why you're seeking God in the first place. Because you feel like you should or you have to? Because that's what you grew up with? What is the reason you're trying to forge a relationship with Him in the first place? What is the reason you're doing magic in the first place? You don't have to do anything you don't want to do, nor do you have to stop or start anything you don't want to. Figure this out and everything will make more sense. Until then, approach God like an old friend and see how it feels.
Are There Two Ranks of Opposing Angels?
Hi! There’s a group online named GTOS (Grigorist Temple of Satanael) that claims the existence of two ranks of angels called the Memitim and the Malakhim; the job of the Memitim is to harbor and spread fear into people to convert them into christianity, while the job of the Malakhim are to induce feelings of love and sentimentality towards God, also for conversion. My question is, what do you think of their existence, if it is credible, and an actual thing? —Anonymous
Hey!
So I've never heard the term memitim before, but upon looking it up, it doesn't seem like this Temple here is on the money with this, no. These "destroying angels" aren't there to cause fear and convert people to Christianity; they're just doing God's dirty work, like the angel that took out all the firstborns in Egypt. the malakhim, which just means "messengers," is the word for regular old angels doing what angels do. And the idea that they're distinct is silly, because all angels are capable of going on the offensive or defensive for/against humans at any time.
Do You Think Demons are Bad, and Have You Encountered Duke Dantalion?
Do you think demons are bad? Have you ever talked with demon Duke Dantalion? —Anonymous
Hello!
I think words like "good" and "bad" are a bit reductionist when it comes to angels and demons. They simply are, the way wolves and deer simply are. Not all wolves will rip your ass into pieces the second they see you, and deer can actually mess you up pretty good if you get them on the right day, at the right time (I mean, have you ever seen a doe trample something getting close to her fawns?) Point is, the nature of angels and demons are fundamentally different, but that doesn't mean I think demons are evil. Just that they have a completely opposite method for achieving the same goals angels are out to achieve, whatever they may be. They're fantastic mentors and guides if approached with care and respect.
Is God Real? (And Does He Hate ___?)
I wonder if God is real. I do not like Christianity; it has given me so much pain. I wish I knew how to listen. To know if God really was real. How do I do that? Also, in your beliefs, does God hate lesbians? —Anonymous
Hey, there!
God doesn't hate anyone, in my understanding. A lot of people hate, though, and they try to throw God's name around to justify their hate, but they aren't God. They're assholes.
As for knowing whether or not God is really real, there's no way to ever know that. That's the entire point of faith: to trust that God is real, not to know like you know the sky is blue or that apples are sweet. Therefore, if you want to learn how to listen, the first thing you have to do is learn to be open—to accept the fact that when you listen, you may hear something. You may not, too, but you may, and it's important to be ready to pay attention if and when you do. That's why God says so many times to seek Him with everything you got; when you go looking, that's when you find Him. That first step is always the hardest, but once you take it, you can start making progress.
Are All Other Gods Egregores Except God?
What Bible do you read? What “branch” of Christianity or spirituality best matches the message of Christ in your opinion? Do you think all ancient gods are tulpas or egregores, and Yahweh/Source/Creator is the only true highest power? —Christy
Hi, Christy!
Lots of questions snowballed into one, I see! I really like the Jewish Study Bible and Jewish Annotated New Testament; those are my favorites, with solid scholarship and plenty of extra-biblical essays on fun topics in the back.
In terms of denominations, it's honestly hard to say, because everyone has an interesting take on things and has some beautiful components to them. If I had to pick one though, I would pick the Episcopal church (but given I am an Episcopalian now, I may be a bit biased).
And I do not think that all other gods are egregores. While I do think that God is Source, I also think that the idea that Hinduism has makes the most sense: the idea that there is one Source, but all these other deities that appear are simply facets, or avatars, of that Source. Like a gem has many facts, so too does Divinity, and we instinctively turn towards the facet we resonate most with; the face of Divinity shapes itself to each tribe and becomes a more specific/centralized name and face for people to call Source by and make any sense at all of the ineffable quality of the Divine.
Can Christian Witches Have a Book of Shadows?
Sara, I was so glad to find your page. I’m trying to wrap my head around being a Christian witch and all it entails, but I’m learning it’s ok to be a Christian witch. My question to you is can we as Christian witches have a book of shadows, and if so, how do you set it up? —Anonymous
Hi!
Of course they can! All a Book of Shadows (or BOS) is, at the end of the day, is a collection of all your favorite and most useful bits of information. A lot of people treat them like an art project or journal to be passed down through their families, but others also make them shiftable, like a binder full of pages they can rearrange however they'd like. I personally have a big sketchbook where I do some fun art with organizing my ideas and magical understanding, as well as what I wanted to one day turn into more of a "library of shadows," with different journals for different topics (like angels, astrology, etc.).
Go ahead and make one if you want, and make it your own!
Is It Bad if I Want to Hex Someone?
Is it bad if I want to hex someone? I was raised knowing that Jesus told us not to wish harm on others, and raised knowing God said "you don't need to take revenge. Revenge is mine." But these two people in particular... —Amaris
Hello!
It's not bad to be upset with someone for doing wrong, or to be upset at injustice, and if you've ever read Martin Duffy's Anathema Maranatha, you'll know there's plenty of precedent for Christian curses and hexes, but honestly, these feelings and this want to hex others is not something you gotta take to another person like me. Take it to God. When I'm deep in my feels and want to burn the world down, I take those feelings to God and just shout and pout and huff and puff until I chill out—and that's where God's wisdom kicks in and I get a little clarity.
Sometimes I think I just need to relax and let go. Sometimes God surprises me and tells me to get Psalm 109 out. So it's not even really a question of "is it bad to want to hex?" but rather, "is this the right time to hex?"
Am I Doing the Eucharist Ritual Right?
My question really boils down to: am I right in that the communion doesn't need the traditional ritual and bells and whistles as long as it has the right meaning and intention behind it? —Anonymous
Hi, there!
So, given the context you put down about learning the purpose of each Eucharist step, yet getting a reading that it was more overwhelming than helpful, I guess now is as good a time as ever to tell you a secret about ritual: it is designed to put you in the mental frame of mind to accomplish your goal, and if it isn't doing that, but is instead hindering you, then you need to change the flow and do things your way. Rather than try to keep every single part of the Eucharist ritual, or learn why every part is there before you do it, it makes sense to boil the ritual down to its most base part, which is invoking the Holy Spirit to change wine into blood, bread into flesh.
The special words as outlined in the Eucharistic Prayer (be they Catholic, Episcopal, or whatever other denomination) and the whole flow of that long process are designed to raise energy from the congregation, because at its core, the Eucharist is a communal ritual; Christianity itself is a communal religion. It isn't meant to be practiced alone, in secret. It's meant to be practiced with others, in the sunlight, together in love and harmony and peace. However, since the average person isn't super educated on, like, magic, ritual and all that, they need that bit of help from the priest to prime them and get them ready to subconsciously participate in this energy raising and great work of transmutation through the Spirit of, and under the eye of, God. Understanding this context helps break down the actually necessary components of transmuting the Eucharist if you're not doing it in church, but by yourself (as many people have done over the ages for various reasons, from agoraphobia to other health conditions and so on).
Do you need all of those words and all of that ritual to get to the heart of what you're doing? Or do you prefer to get into that zone another way, just talking to God, or meditating, or even dancing and singing? How do you connect to God's presence before asking Him to provide you this sacrament? That's the heart of this here. Find how to do that in a way that feels natural and authentic to you, and that's the very same Eucharist ritual.
(And just a side note: you mention how the Eucharist is based off Exodus and how they had a different covenant, therefore it's not relevant to Christians. Yes and no. Jesus's last meal was the Passover meal, which is based in the story of Exodus, because He was Jewish—but what the Eucharist is, is the very creation of the binding apparatus of the New Covenant: His body and blood. So in essence, He's invoking an old covenant ritual format to create a new one, which is why the Eucharist prayer specifically focuses on the words Jesus said, and tells that story of Jesus's sacrifice again. It's an important detail to remember!)
Ask Your Questions!
Remember, all your questions can go to this Google form, so don't hesitate to reach out! I'm looking forward to seeing what questions people have in the future, and I hope this has been a helpful read! Thank you everyone who participated!
—Sara
Sara Raztresen is a Slovene-American writer, screenwriter, and Christian witch. Her fantasy works draw heavily on the wisdom she gathers from her own personal and spiritual experience, and her spiritual practice borrows much of the whimsy and wonder that modern society has relegated to fairy-and-folktale. Her goal is to help people regain their spiritual footing and discover God through a new (yet old) lens of mysticism.